Wednesday, August 24, 2011


It is said that your friends are God’s way of apologizing for your family. All I can say is amen to that! I have extraordinary friends that I plan to talk about here as time goes by. And the ways I found some of them are as interesting as the people themselves. Right at the top of that list is Joan. Joan is beautiful, smart, funny, loving, and a wonderful friend. She is my ex-husband’s wife. Pause for a “what?”……

Alton and I had a child together and a friendship we both valued so staying in each other’s lives, sharing each other’s lives, was the only way we ever considered handling things. He dated some women whose names I can’t remember because the women were forgettable…….until Joan. She got the thumbs up, the green light, the “don’t blow it and lose her” talk. I liked her instantly and she just fit right in. As time went on, we began to have fun with the reactions people had when they found out that we were more than just civil, we were close! I recall a Thanksgiving that we spent together at the home of one of their friends. Joan had told me how surprised the host family was at the idea that we would all be coming together. It was her idea to have fun with it : ) We saw them observing us, like they were waiting for the sound of hissing and the appearance of claws. Shamefully fun…. On more than one occasion, we would put our heads together and whisper or give each other undecipherable looks just to provoke curiosity. It was sport. I thought it was so cool to see the humor in it and play with the situation. Over the years, we have maintained the connection, grown it into love, effortlessly. She has seen me through some difficult times and been a cherished confidant. And hardly anyone has ever made me laugh more! I still have the birthday card that sent greetings from the Cleavers – Ward, June, Wally, Beaver, and Eldridge.

This has been the merest of introductions. She figures prominently in my reconnecting with my fellow Family (read cult) members.

On October 23rd, it will be six years since we lost Alton. As one of my oldest and closest friends, I miss him every day. At his memorial service, someone asked if Joan and I were going to stay in touch. We looked at each other and laughed out loud.

I got an email from her today. She has some wonderful ideas about how to handle things when Spielberg comes to me for the movie rights to this blog……..
More will be revealed.

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