As a result, forming thoughts and focusing my eyes is challenging to say the least. But I decided to write something every day, so here it is, small and unimportant.
I experienced a flash of anger today. That term, “flash of anger”, is well stated since the emotion is born and matures to a white hot level in a nanosecond. Rather like a nuclear weapon. That is why words that are said in anger have such power to destroy and the damage is equally impossible to undo. People may forgive but only a sharp blow to the head can make one truly forget.
I hate how it made me feel. Hate is a strong word, but dislike it way too wimpy. It’s somewhere between the two. Of course, I compound the problem by allowing the anger to splinter. That happens in a flash as well. Before I’m consciously aware of what my mind is doing, I am angry at whatever the initial provocation was and at myself for letting whatever it was get to me. The stress, the damage to my mental, emotional, and spiritual health! Why did I let that in? I suppose the answer is that I’m human and it’s part of the human condition. But I do have the option as to how I proceed. I can take the high road. Let it go. Not let it take root as resentment. Especially when, as in this case, it has to do with people I love.
Clearly I’m not expressing some profound insight, just venting. It helps. It was a tough morning but I’m over it because, to paraphrase the Buddha, holding on to anger and resentment is like taking poison and expecting someone else to die.
Have a good night and a wonderful tomorrow. I’m going to lie down……..